


Hollow Men

by monaboyd_archivist



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Angst, Death, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-14
Updated: 2003-12-14
Packaged: 2018-04-11 18:24:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4446932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monaboyd_archivist/pseuds/monaboyd_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is how the world ends</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hollow Men

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Shirasade: this story was originally archived at the Monaboyd.net Archive, which was closed in September 2014 due to software issues and a lack of new submissions for several years . To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in October 2014. I e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact me using the e-mail address on the Monaboyd.net Archive collection profile.

At first no one thought too much about it. He was just a little more tired after a day of surfing. They all laughed, told him he was getting old. He was just a little more pale after a day of filming. This they attributed to a hard week. He was sick just a little more often. Everyone blamed the rain and cold. He bruised a little more easily. Everyone thought they were just a little too rough with him.

And then one night, as we laid in bed and I held he to me, he told me. He had gone to the doctor. It was leukemia, said it was genetic. He clung to me and laid he head on my chest, listening to my heartbeat. He cried for the first time in a long time and so did I. “How long have you known?” I asked, suddenly afraid of the answer. “Since the end of August”. 6 weeks. I cried again “I’m sorry,” He said “ I just didn’t know how to bring it up and I don’t want anything to change even though I know at some point it has to” He moved close to me so that he lay almost on top of me. “ I love you, Billy,” I whispered and then we made love, gentle touches meaning so much, even more than usual.

Things went down hill from there although slowly and thankfully so. After a while we didn’t go pubbing as often and surfing was too much for him so we would just watch from the shore. He was sometimes tired and sometimes sick. He lost his appetite but never his vigor for life.

He started losing his grasp and it landed him in the hospital for the third time in 4 months. As I sat in a hard uncomfortable chair next to the bed he rolled over to face me and said, “ I’m not going home this time Dom”. “Sure you are Bills” I said still holding onto the last remnant of my hope. “I’m not, I need you to understand that. I love you more that anything and I’m sorry I dragged you through all of this” He started to cry, something that was no long such an uncommon occurrence. I pulled him to me carefully and whispered into his ear. “ No regrets Billy, I have none. Even knowing from the start I would have chosen you over the pain free path. You are the best thing that ever has happened to me, ever will. You understand, I love you more than I love my Doc Martins. And that’s a lot Bills” I said with a small laugh and looked down at him. He was smiling up at me and for a minute I forgot he was sick. “I don’t know what I’d do without you Dommie mine,” he said in a whisper and kissed my neck. “ You don’t have to live without me Billy, I have to live without you, I have to try. I love you forever” I kissed him on the temple and slid into the hospital bed next to him carefully, so as not to hurt his or displace on of his Iv’s. Only a few hours later his lifeless body lay next to me. My sobs turned into a whimper and then silence.

This is how the world ends  
Not with a bang but a whimper  
-Ts Elliot – Hollow Men V


End file.
